Let’s all be like Joe

By Kyle Berger

Let’s be honest, not everyone is Joe Khalifa.

I mean, aside from the 45 other Joe Khalifa’s Facebook found for me when I got distracted and went down that rabbit hole one sentence into writing this...

But not everyone can be the Joe Khalifa our JCC hockey league knows and loves. Not everyone can be 50-something (or more, who really knows?) and still relentlessly dart all over the ice without quitting - like a house fly trapped in a small office.

Sure, we may have brief moments of motivation to try to emulate his level of fitness from time to time. But usually, by around January 2nd, we’ve dropped that resolution - like our December goal to drink less - and are already back to our regular diets of chicken wings and fried pickles, cursing the 45 Joe Khalifas of the world for being so darn fit!

To make matters worse, this home isolation thing most of us are experiencing right now is probably taking our inherent passion for laziness to whole new levels!

Which is why we need to take this bull by his hand-sanitizer-soaked horns and make the best of this opportunity to change our sit-on-the-couch-and-kill-a-family-sized-bag-of-Miss-Vickies mentality and get in shape at home!

So what’s a guy like Joe Khalifa doing during this C.R.A.P (Corona Related Athletics Pause) to keep in shape?

“Outdoor Running once a day by myself and training with my kids on a second run,” Joe explained via a socially-distanced text conversation about how to get along with your partner that naturally segued into a chat about running. “Then, on non-run days, doing 20-min Peleton workouts and 100 push-ups, plus 5 minutes of planks. Sometimes we need to get creative.”

That’s a solid, yet achievable workout plan for most of us.

And, while this should also serve as a good reminder that now might be a great time to invest in Peleton stocks, Joe’s workout plan is one we could all afford to make happen if we dedicate some time and effort - and maybe replaced that Peleton workout with our old Billy Blanks Tai Bo DVD you know you still have.

We also may not all have adult children we can train with like Joe does. But let’s face it, it won’t be long before we’ve all discovered new imaginary friends that hopefully can workout with us.

So get out there and go for a run, my friends. And if you see Joe, remember to wash your hands after you slap him high-five. He’s sweaty.

Photos: Joe Khalifa’s creative hockey dr-land training program.